Approval from Others and its Importance
Recognition for one’s achievements is an innate aspect of why we do what we do. If we perform a task at a high level, some want others to witness their performance. However, when we discuss Love, people look for acknowledgement from others that would be better served if instead it came from themselves.
Wanting to feel something vicariously through the eyes of a loved one is nothing new. But it is also something that can be dangerous to your perception of self. The more that you place your self-worth in someone else’s hands, the higher your chances of being disappointed when things don’t work out in the long run.
If you are simply looking for someone’s approval of who you are being, the first time that your significant other asks you to do something that you don’t like, or disagrees with your opinions—I promise you, you won’t like the way you feel. Resentment can move in on multiple levels. If your situation changes and things are not working out, be good to yourself. Gain your own approval first and foremost.
Acknowledgment can come from the actual work, being of service, real Love, and true appreciation for your genuine efforts. It’s great that someone thinks you’re beautiful or that you have quickly risen to the top of your sales team with very little effort. The acknowledgement of feeling someone’s attention and appreciation is at the heart of what it means to make Love visible, but only when it is well-warranted.
Wanting is not entirely bad; it is a way for us to consciously manifest our desires. Wanting love is really an easy concept to explain because everyone can relate.
However, wanting to find Love and be loved for the right reasons are difficult to uncover; people often become enamored by the person’s physical appearance or material possessions, overlooking red flags (e.g. a control freak, an ill-tempered person, a pathological liar). Don’t fall prey to the short-term payoffs that await you around the corner.
When choosing a new relationship, make sure both partners have pure intent. Though challenging, it is worth the commitment. When two people are open and honest with each other, it minimizes problems and puts each person’s mind at ease, knowing he or she does not have to second-guess what the other is thinking.
**Notes from “Sneak Peek” gatherer Jazzy supporting June’s book and learning for herself: This is so true and right!!! Having and discovering our intentions and motives can lead to an easier time. Listening to red flags and standing for what you believe in from the get go can save us a lot of pain and heartbreak. This can apply to jobs and schools and everything we do. It is important we listen to our inner voice.
Here is what people are saying about “The Benefit of the Ex”
“June’s advice is solid. As someone who has many exes, I’ve learned not to blame in shame, but letting go of love is always the answer.”
America’s Funniest Motivational Speaker, Stress Reduction Expert/Humorist